From The Latin ...

"Gastritis" seems to mean "we don't know what causes your heart rate to crash to 40 and your blood pressure to bottom out, but since it's accompanied by nausea, here, have some famotidine as a participation trophy for your 14-hour ER wait."

(The "you" is Tamara, who was sent to the ER by her boss yesterday with the same symptoms as last time).

I won't be missing a Garrison Center column this time, but I think I'll go with Friday/Sunday instead of Thursday/Monday. I was in that approximately 5-degrees-fahrenheit ER for 13 of the 14 hours, after racing the 50cc scooter into town in a downpour then getting splashed by a passing 18-wheeler, with no dry clothes to change into. So I'm a little tired too.