KN@PPSTER LiveBlogs the Second 2016 GOP Presidential Debate -- Kids' Table Edition

7:41 -- Final question: What is the one thing you offer that the top tier does?

7:47 -- Quick reaction: Pataki probably won the "serious guy" contest. Santorum probably won the "how does the GOP appeal to proles" contest. Graham actually was kind of authentic but didn't win much -- just too crazy on foreign policy and Santorum stole his "poor guy up by my bootstraps" thunder. Jindal should probably get about shutting his campaign down. He MAY have done OK with evangelical Christians, but I wouldn't count on that even. Back in another post in a few minutes for The Big Shew.


Pataki: TWO things. We have to win the election. None of it matters unless we win. And then we have to govern successfully. You need a leader who actually gets a conservative agenda through. I did that in New York, one of the most liberal states in American.

Santorum: Came to Washington in unlikely way, defeated Dem incumbent. Only thought I'd be there one term, shook things up, ended 40 years of Democratic control. I led that fight.  Outsider, got conservative things done. Now after ten years of seeing GOP retreat, they need me, outsider, to go back and get things done.

Jindal: I'm a doer not a talker. Idea of America is slipping away. If you want incremental change, vote for someone else. Planned Parenthood is selling baby parts and Washington GOP can't find its testicles to fight. Time to take on DC permanent government class. I'm the only guy who has actually shrunk government.

Graham: I will win a war we can't afford to lose, even though everything I've ever suggested on foreign policy before has turned out to be completely wrong and I'm still suggesting the same idiotic policies. Trump is a cartoon character. Kasich wants to close more basis. I want to spend all your money on the military. I'll make your family safe even though it does not seem like it.

7:25 -- Graham, you all oppose nuke deal with Iran. Yahoo John Bolton wants strike Iran. You? Graham: If I believed they were trying to get a bomb, I would. And they know it. We need to stop increasing military spending so little and just put everything into getting as many Americans either dead or in the poorhouse as possible. Kasich wants to sensibly close more basis. The worst nightmare in the world is some Lockheed-Martin executive not being able to buy a private island and a gold-plated bathtub. Spend, spend, spend, and kill as many as we have to to keep the spending up.

Pataki, there are other ways than bombing. Santorum wants to assassinate scientists. What do you think? Pataki: We need a strong America, we need to reject the deal and reimpose sanctions. We should give Israel big bombs to do our dirty work for us. And Clinton was Senator from New York on 9/11 and has been a complete fuckup ever since. We have got to beat her.

Santorum, any means necessary? Still on the table? Santorum: 12 years ago I authored a sanctions bill on Iran and fell four votes short. I've been laser-focused on getting us into war with what I believe to be a massive death cult because getting us into wars with massive death cults isn't batshit insane or anything. On day one, I tell Iran that if they don't consent to be my bitch, I'm going to have my way with you.

Graham, Putin is sending more stuff to Syria to support Assad. Trump says he can get along with Putin. Why would your confrontation work better than Trump's deal-making. Graham: It's all Barack Obama's fault for not getting enough Americans killed. I've told you, I'm willing to kill as many Americans as you'll let me kill, because I'm completely nuts and more bloodthirsty than Manson.

Jindal, how would you get Russians out of Syria? Jindal: I'd rather talk about Iran, which means I'd rather blame Obama for everything. I want to ask Graham, are Senate Republicans willing to get rid of filibuster to kill the Iran deal and get us into the war all of us crazy people want? What's the point of a majority if we're not getting Americans killed?

Graham: Bobby, you were in Congress. If you want to repeal ObamaCare, get a new president. If you want to end Planned Parenthood's corporate welfare, get a new president. We need 67 votes to override Obama's veto, but we need to elect a Republican president, not play shutdown games. I want to lead the party to winning.

Jindal: You just heard a Republican say we can't do anything. Democrats forced ObamaCare without 60 votes, don't Republicans have any fight? If not, it's time to be done with the GOP. No point in being cheaper Democrats. Maybe start a new party. At least Reid and Pelosi fight for what they believe in.

Graham: We're running for POTUS. With that comes certain amount of honesty. Tired of telling people what they want to hear. I would not give Planned Parenthood money as president, but I'm not going to shut down the government now.

Break.

7:17 -- Graham, minimum wage. Santorum wants to increase it. You? Graham: If you increase minimum wage, hard to hire more people. Clinton has a list to help the middle class, they've been squeezed hard. I understand the middle class, and I want to grow the economy, not just screw with the minimum wage. No more money for federal government until there's a plan to get out of debt.

Santorum, defend yourself. Santorum: Less than 1% make minimum wage, if you're not for increasing it you're not for a floor wage in America you suck. GOP supported bailouts, I didn't. GOP supported special tax treatment for business, I didn't. Republicans need to support working people by increasing unemployment. 90% of Americans are wage-earners, not business owners and we need to talk to workers.

Break.

7:12 -- Graham: Republicans need to tell Americans that we get who you are, I want to save Social Security.

Pataki, Jeb and Trump want to raise taxes on hedge fund managers. Do you agree? Pataki: I would throw out the whole corrupt tax code. Get rid of exemptions and loopholes, lower rates. I would propose a law that no congress person can ever be a lobbyist afterward.

Jindal, three Republicans running who support higher rate for hedge fund managers. You? Jindal: Lower, flatter, tax rate. I've done that as governor.

Santorum, do you agree with Jeb that limits home mortgage deduction. Santorum: I propose a 20% flat tax on everyone and everything (income, interest, corporate income). I want to make America number one manufacturer in the world, and fantasize that we can compete on wages in manufacturing even though the last 30 years says our future is elsewhere. But I'm Rick Santorum and I can wave my magic wand and make the impossible happen.

Pataki, you said you'd be OK with raising taxes on hedge fund managers, would you also get rid of deductions? Pataki: No, I'd keep deductions. And I also have a magical mystery plan to bring manufacturing back.

Election 2016: What's Up With Lindsey Graham?

US Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He formally threw his hat into the presidential ring today.

He will not be the next president of the United States, nor will he be the Republican Party's 2016 presidential nominee.

He knows this. You know this. I know this. There's nobody on the face of Planet Earth who doesn't know this.

He's only popular with two voter demographics: South Carolinians and the So Completely Batshit Insane on "National Security" That We Consider Dr. Strangelove a Commie Pinko Pacifist voter bloc.

He's not popular enough with South Carolinians to carry his own state in the presidential primary -- in fact, he came in behind his self-designated nemesis, Rand Paul, in an April poll of the state's presidential preferences.

Nor is the SCBIoNSTWCDSaCPP bloc large enough to put him over the top anywhere else.

So what's up with the presidential campaign? Here's my take:

He can't win South Carolina in the presidential primary, but in anything remotely resembling a horserace he can decide who wins South Carolina in the presidential primary. His endorsement can move at least high-single-digit, and probably double-digit, vote percentages into a candidate's column.

In states with a significant SCBIoNSTWCDSaCPP presence as things tighten up, his endorsement could conceivably move 5% of the "undecided as to which candidate is batshit insane enough for me" vote to the candidate who has that endorsement.

South Carolina is the third state in the presidential preference parade -- its primary follows the Iowa caucus and the New Hampshire primary.

So on the night of the New Hampshire primary, we can expect Lindsey Graham to go have a talk with one of the guys who looks set to maybe go the distance and offer to get that candidate on a roll with South Carolina in exchange for ...

Maybe he wants to be Secretary of Defense. Or possibly Secretary of Energy. Even if you didn't already have these two picked out as likely, you would after looking at his historical campaign contribution base.

But you probably already had that first one in mind, and I consider it most likely. Maybe veep, but I don't think so. As crazy as he is, he's not stupid, and he knows he would hurt the ticket in the second slot.

He's looking for a cabinet post, and running for president puts him in a better position to deal for one than just being the senior US Senator from South Carolina does.

So know you know what that's all about.

When I Get Tired of Complaining, I Usually Stop for Awhile

When Lindsey Graham gets tired of complaining, he decides to travel around the country complaining for, oh, a year or so (my guess on the end point is "when he finds out he can't break 5% for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination even in the state that keeps sending him to the US Senate").

The GOP really ought to change its symbol to a little car with clowns spilling out of it.