Saturday, April 02, 2011

Got Your "Retribution" Right Here, Reverend Jones


Murders are murderers and you do what you have to do about them. "He burned a book I like" isn't a defense.

On the other hand, Reverend Jones, STFU about "retribution" already. If the beliefs you preach are true, there's some coming, and it's coming your way like a 300-ton avalanche of some stuff you'd go a long way in the other direction to avoid smelling:

Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

That's Matthew 7. You might also want to give that there "lake of fire" passage in Revelation a once-over, and if you really, really believe it, muscle some serious skull-sweat on what Jesus is probably going to do to you if he ever gets his hands on you in your current spiritual state.

JC and his old man are reputedly willing to forgive almost anything, but nobody likes a grandstanding fool very much and it seems to me that you're probably best off going the extra mile to prove the genuineness of your contrition and humility. I'm thinking sackcloth and ashes and an "I Was A Prideful Dimbulb" sign at the very least, and in a very public way. If you get with the repentance before May 25th, maybe Oprah can help you out.

Selah.

Sincerely,
Rev. Thomas L.Knapp

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