Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Shut up, he explained

Dear President Bush, congressional "leaders," whingy Wall Street "experts" and confused talking heads:

No, you don't need to just "do a better job of selling it."

No, we aren't going to suddenly "understand" if you keep "explaining."

No, a little "Main Street" frosting on top isn't going to hide what kind of cake it is.

Look: If I plunk down $10 on "17" at the roulette table, and the little white ball lands on "36" instead, my money goes away. Uncle Sugar doesn't raid the purse of some little old lady in Des Moines to give me my $10 back, nor should he.

When Fund Manager Bob plunks down $x million of his investors' money on "securitized debt, sure winner" and the little white ball lands on "lots of defaults, your share value is circling the drain" instead, same same.

Knock off the "bailout" bullshit. Nobody's buying it. Nobody's going to be buying it. Some of the Street's highest rollers gambled big-time -- and they lost. What's that, you say? They got duped into their bad bets by the casino's shills, Fannie and Freddie? Don't care.

Tell you what. Here's a coupon for $1.99 ham and egg breakfast in the keno lounge. Better luck next time. No refunds. No exceptions. Now gedouddaheah before I call security and have you escorted from the premises, capisci?

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