Friday, May 27, 2005

Fire mission, immediate inebriation

The auspicious moment has arrived ... or, at any rate, has been scheduled. Johnny Depp will fire the remains of Hunter S. Thompson from a cannon atop a 150-foot tall tower built in the image of the Gonzo Fist.

"Friends and acquaintances gathered Thursday to discuss the Aug. 20 invitation-only service, which will be six months after Thompson shot himself in his Woody Creek home. Jon Equis, the event producer working with Thompson's family, said the tower will be about 3.5-metres-wide at the base and 2.5-metres-wide at the top, where a cannon will be placed. "

Presumably the invitations have not been sent out yet, as no courier has arrived at my door. I will, however, go ahead and notify the tailor in Hong Kong to ship my new Armani knockoff (in a deep, earthy green) no later than early July, and will stock up on Gonzo Imperial Porter for the drive. MapQuest says it's 16 hours and 11 minutes from St. Louis to Woody Creek. Luddites -- we use the metric system in my car. Eleven hours flat, if the goddamn bats stay away.

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