Monday, February 21, 2005

That's how rumors get started

Okay, ladies and gents, it's time to start cranking out the conspiracy theories:

1) Weep not; he is not dead, but sleepeth. HST didn't bite a bullet -- he's up to his usual tricks and after a suitable international display of grief is made in his honor, complete with Rockette chorus line and copious amounts of Old Crow and other, less properly publicly discussed chemicals, he'll turn up at a GW Bush press conference, disguised as a former gay prostitute with Friends In High Places and bearing some very pointed questions for The Man.

2) He's dead, but he didn't do it himself. It was the Bush administration, panicked at the prospect of being forced by blackmail to appoint him as the next Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Or maybe the Rotary, or the management of the Indianapolis Colts.

Seems like a reasonable start. Add your pet theory in the comment section.

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