Thursday, November 21, 2024
Still Working on That There "Biker" Look
Wordle 1251 Hint
Hint: Need help with today's Wordle? I've got your back!
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First Letter: S
Wednesday, November 20, 2024
NFL Week 12 Picks
NFL Week 12 starts tomorrow night with the Pittsburgh Steelers playing the Cleveland Browns. Here are my picks, as entered in ESPN's "Pigskin Pick'em" game. "Upset" picks -- that is, picks where I'm in the minority as to who will win -- have asterisks next to them. Any changes to my initial picks will be made before kickoff and will be noted below.
- Pittsburgh Steelers beat Cleveland Browns
- Minnesota Vikings beat Chicago Bears
- Detroit Lions beat Indianapolis Colts
- Miami Dolphins beat New England Patriots
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat New York Giants
- Washington Commanders beat Dallas Cowboys
- Kansas City Chiefs beat Carolina Panthers
- Houston Texans beat Tennessee Titans
- Denver Broncos beat Las Vegas Raiders
- San Francisco 49ers beat Green Bay Packers*
- Arizona Cardinals beat Seattle Seahawks
- Philadelphia Eagles beat Los Angeles Rams
- Baltimiore Ravens beat Los Angels Chargers
Wordle 1250 Hint
Hint: Being in a hole can actually be a good thing ... if that hole is your own special calling.
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First Letter: N
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
Well, That's It For The Year!
NFL Week 11 Results
My Week 11 picks, green for correct ones, red for incorrect ones:
- Washington Commanders beat Philadelphia Eagles*
- Green Bay Packers beat Chicago Bears
- Detroit Lions beat Jacksonville Jaguars
- Minnesota Vikings beat Tennessee Titans
- Miami Dolphins beat Las Vegas Raiders
- Los Angeles Rams beat New England Patriots
- New Orleans Saints beat Cleveland Browns
- Pittsburgh Steelers beat Baltimore Ravens*
- Indianapolis Colts beat New York Jets*
- Atlanta Falcons beat Denver Broncos
- San Francisco 49ers beat Seattle Seahawks
- Kansas City Chiefs beat Buffalo Bills*
- Cincinnati Bengals beat Los Angeles Chargers
- Houston Texans beat Dallas Cowboys
Wordle 1249 Hint
Hint: When an auction is almost, but not quite, over.
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First Letter: G
Monday, November 18, 2024
Wordle 1248 Hint
Hint: Take special care not to break today's Wordle while trying to solve it -- it's rather delicate and fragile.
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First Letter: F
Sunday, November 17, 2024
Wordle 1247 Hint
Hint: How do I love Wordle? Let me count the ways.
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First Letter: T
Saturday, November 16, 2024
Wordle 1246 Hint
Hint: Today's Wordle may be easy on the eyes, but it also seems a little shady.
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First Letter: V
Friday, November 15, 2024
Wordle 1245 Hint
Hint: I said something in poor taste -- now I'm in what one might call a slightly sticky situation.
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First Letter: T
Thursday, November 14, 2024
OK, I Am At Bluesky Now ...
Wordle 1244 Hint
Hint: You have a little grape stuck in your throat. By "you," I mean everyone who hasn't had it removed to e.g. alleviate sleep apnea.
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First Letter: U
Wednesday, November 13, 2024
NFL Week 11 Picks
- Washington Commanders beat Philadelphia Eagles*
- Green Bay Packers beat Chicago Bears
- Detroit Lions beat Jacksonville Jaguars
- Minnesota Vikings beat Tennessee Titans
- Miami Dolphins beat Las Vegas Raiders
- Los Angeles Rams beat New England Patriots
- New Orleans Saints beat Cleveland Browns
- Pittsburgh Steelers beat Baltimore Ravens*
- Indianapolis Colts beat New York Jets*
- Atlanta Falcons beat Denver Broncos
- San Francisco 49ers beat Seattle Seahawks
- Kansas City Chiefs beat Buffalo Bills*
- Cincinnati Bengals beat Los Angeles Chargers
- Houston Texans beat Dallas Cowboys
Wordle 1243 Hint
Hint: Before solving today's Wordle, prepare by messing with your hair until it's just right.
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First Letter: P
Tuesday, November 12, 2024
NFL Week 10 Results
My Week 10 picks, green for correct ones, red for incorrect ones:
- Baltimore Ravens beat Cincinnati Bengals
- Carolina Panthers beat New York Giants*
- Chicago Bears beat New England Patriots
- Buffalo Bills beat Indianapolis Colts
- Kansas City Chiefs beat Denver Broncos
- Atlanta Falcons beat New Orleans Saints
- San Francisco 49ers beat Tampa Bay Buccaneers
- Pittsburgh Steelers beat Washington Commanders*
- Minnesota Vikings beat Jacksonville Jaguars
- Los Angeles Chargers beat Tennessee Titans
- Philadelphia Eagles beat Dallas Cowboys
- Arizona Cardinals beat New York Jets
- Detroit Lions beat Houston Texans
- Miami Dolphins beat Los Angeles Rams*
Wordle 1242 Hint
Hint: What the bird had done, motivating John Lennon to light a fire.
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First Letter: F
Monday, November 11, 2024
How/Why Trump Won and Harris Lost
Wordle 1241 Hint
Hint: If Diogenes of Sinope had attached a painted porch to the large barrel he lived in, maybe he'd have stopped being such a Cynic and become one of these.
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First Letter: S
Sunday, November 10, 2024
Wordle 1240 Hint
Hint: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me the parts of your ears that include the cochleae and vestibular systems (you can hold on to your auricles and canals).
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First Letter: I
Saturday, November 09, 2024
Wordle 1239 Hint
Hint: How today's Wordle grows larger than it was.
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First Letter: S
Friday, November 08, 2024
Wordle 1238 Hint
Hint: Steady, go! Or not. Either way, here I come, Player One.
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First Letter: R
Thursday, November 07, 2024
NFL Week 10 Picks
- Baltimore Ravens beat Cincinnati Bengals
- Carolina Panthers beat New York Giants*
- Chicago Bears beat New England Patriots
- Buffalo Bills beat Indianapolis Colts
- Kansas City Chiefs beat Denver Broncos
- Atlanta Falcons beat New Orleans Saints
- San Francisco 49ers beat Tampa Bay Buccaneers
- Pittsburgh Steelers beat Washington Commanders*
- >>> Minnesota Vikings beat Jacksonville Jaguars <<< PICK CHANGE, see below
- Los Angeles Chargers beat Tennessee Titans
- Philadelphia Eagles beat Dallas Cowboys
- Arizona Cardinals beat New York Jets
- Detroit Lions beat Houston Texans
- Miami Dolphins beat Los Angeles Rams*
Wordle 1237 Hint
Hint: Today's Wordle could be the main one; it could be the big one; it could be both; or maybe it's just the regularly scheduled one.
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First Letter: E
Wednesday, November 06, 2024
Cat Got Their Tongues?
I Like To Get My Admissions of Error In Early ...
Wordle 1236 Hint
Hint: Really and honestly, today's Wordle is an adverb.
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New to Wordle? You can play it at the New York Times, and here are some thoughts on how I go about solving each day's puzzle.
First Letter: T
Tuesday, November 05, 2024
NFL Week 9 Results
- Houston Texans beat New York Jets
- Atlanta Falcons beat Dallas Cowboys
- Buffalo Bills beat Miami Dolphins
- Cincinnati Bengals beat Las Vegas Raiders
- Cleveland Browns beat Los Angeles Chargers*
- Tennesse Titans beat New England Patriots*
- Washington Commanders beat New York Giants
- Carolina Panthers beat New Orleans Saints*
- Baltimore Ravens beat Denver Broncos
- Chicago Bears beat Arizona Cardinals
- Philadelphia Eagles beata Jacksonville Jaguars
- Detroit Lions beat Green Bay Packers
- Seattle Seahawks beat Los Angeles Rams*
- Minnesota Vikings beat Indianapolis Colts
- Kansas City Chiefs beat Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Yet Another "There May Be Brief Disruptions" Post
Wordle 1235 Hint
Hint: When two barber shop singing groups merge, but can still only collectively afford four shaves/haircuts among themselves.
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First Letter: O
Monday, November 04, 2024
It Was Baked Into My Prediction ... But Did I Mix Enough Of It In There?
One Day Out: You Really Can Stop Asking Me That One Thing
Wordle 1234 Hint
Hint: Today's Wordle makes me feel so retro (a polite way of saying "old"). It describes both the upholstery I sat on to listen to music, and the medium the music was usually stored on, circa 1975.
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First Letter: V
Sunday, November 03, 2024
A Ride In The Country, Etc.
Wordle 1233
Hint: What Mel Brooks's saddles did.
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First Letter: B
Saturday, November 02, 2024
Wordle 1232 Hint
Hint: A sneaky investigator (or a friend of Martha Stewart).
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First Letter: S
Friday, November 01, 2024
Thanks For Asking! -- November 2024
Wordle 1231 Hint
Hint: Per ISO 8601, Saturday. In Hebrew, Friday.
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First Letter: S
Thursday, October 31, 2024
Four Hypotheticals
In Which I Briefly Put On My Stand-Up Comedy Hat
As long-time readers of this blog may remember, I made a brief foray into the world of stand-up comedy.
It wasn't much, really -- a couple of open mic sets, IIRC one of them a two-minute and the second one a five-minute. Those two times weren't accidental. The first time you came to this particular open mic, you got two minutes. And if you got laughs, well, then, the next week the person running the thing would give you five minutes if you wanted.
I got laughs both times. I started working on a "tight ten" minute routine, which is the next step and maybe one you get to do as one of the minor comedians in a "real" show instead of at an open mic ... and then the pandemic hit, everything just shut down, and at some point I lost interest. My main reason for messing with it in the first place was that I thought it might reduce my fear of public speaking. I think it did.
Anyway, that's all by way of establishing my (exceedingly minimal) credentials as an authority on whether or not a joke works. Whether it's good. Whether it's something the person who came up with should expect to get laughs out of. So:
There are a number of different "formulas" for writing jokes.
My own favorite such formula is to start talking about something people recognize, understand, are familiar with, or can identify with, then take a sudden, unexpected turn on that subject. You lull them, then you shock them. It may take five seconds or five minutes to move from the wholly relatable premise to the "wow, that was completely unexpected" turn, but that's the formula.
Here's a not really very good joke I posted to this very blog, one of my early attempts, way back in 2014 (years before I braved a microphone and a live audience). It uses that formula.
Wholly Relatable Premise: I tried to break up with my girlfriend. Told her we shouldn't date any more. Told her adieu.
Wow, That Was Completely Unexpected Turn: So now she thinks we're married.
Here's another one that I posted to Facebook in May of 2020. Similar formula, but it has a little kick after the turn. This one got me contacted by another comedian I'd done those two open mics with. He was trying to set up his own open mic at a different bar, and he wanted me to show up because he liked it. But you know how long the pandemic, and the accompanying public event restrictions, dragged on. And it happens to be about those restrictions.
Wholly Relatable Premise: I was at the store today and a woman walked up to me and informed me that having my nose hanging outside my mask is like having my penis hanging outside my pants. I looked at her for a minute, waiting for her to go on, and she looked at me for a minute waiting for me to respond. Finally, she said "do you understand what I'm saying?"
Wow, That Was Completely Unexpected Turn: I said "I think you're saying that you want to see my penis, but I'm not really sure."
Little Post-Turn kick: Then she ran away.
Maybe you laughed when you read those jokes. Maybe you didn't. I personally think they're a little better delivered vocally. When it comes to influences, I tend to lean toward e.g. Steven Wright or Mitch Hedberg. So imagine them delivered pretty much deadpan.
Warming up for Donald Trump at Madison Square Garden, comedian Tony Hinchcliffe used the same formula, in short form. It's quick punch, not rope-a-dope.
Wholly Relatable Premise: There’s a lot going on. I don’t know if you know this but there’s literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now.
Wow, That Was Completely Unexpected Turn: I think it’s called Puerto Rico.
My "professional" opinion:
He nailed it.
In any venue other than a presidential campaign rally -- particularly in the kind of venues he usually performs at, where he's known for taking a "roast" approach to everyone, everything, and everywhere -- that joke would have killed.
But when a joke is told at a presidential campaign rally, any person or group who feels insulted (and anyone who wants to play to that person or group) will treat it as a political statement on the part of the campaign rather than as "just" a joke by a comedian.
I'm not saying that's good or bad, just noticing that that's how things are. I'm not a Trump supporter, or a Harris supporter, nor do I have anything against Puerto Rico (in fact, it's probably in my top ten "places I'd like to visit, and could visit without getting a passport" list).
If all I knew of Hinchcliffe's ouvre was that joke -- and guess what, all I know of Hinchcliffe's ouvre is that joke! -- he would go (and has gone) on my list of "comedians I'd like to see live."
Wordle 1230 Hint
Hint: Think Tales, Science, or Al.
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First Letter: W
Wednesday, October 30, 2024
NFL Week 9 Picks
NFL Week 9 starts Thursday (tomorrow) night with the Houston Texans playing the New York Jets. Here are my picks, as entered in ESPN's "Pigskin Pick'em" game. "Upset" picks -- that is, picks where I'm in the minority as to who will win -- have asterisks next to them.
- Houston Texans beat New York Jets
- Atlanta Falcons beat Dallas Cowboys
- Buffalo Bills beat Miami Dolphins
- Cincinnati Bengals beat Las Vegas Raiders
- Cleveland Browns beat Los Angeles Chargers*
- Tennesse Titans beat New England Patriots*
- Washington Commanders beat New York Giants
- Carolina Panthers beat New Orleans Saints*
- Baltimore Ravens beat Denver Broncos
- Chicago Bears beat Arizona Cardinals
- Philadelphia Eagles beata Jacksonville Jaguars
- Detroit Lions beat Green Bay Packers
- Seattle Seahawks beat Los Angeles Rams*
- Minnesota Vikings beat Indianapolis Colts
- Kansas City Chiefs beat Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Wordle 1229 Hint
Hint: An aspiring painter's first and most reliable supporter usually has three legs.
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First Letter: E
Tuesday, October 29, 2024
NFL Week 8 Results
- Minnesota Vikings beat Los Angeles Rams
- Baltimore Ravens beat Cleveland Browns
- Detroit Lions beat Tennessee Titans
- Miami Dolphins beat Arizona Cardinals*
- New York Jets beat New England Patriots
- Atlanta Falcons beat Tampa Bay Buccaneers*
- Jacksonville Jaguars beat Green Bay Packers*
- Houston Texans beat Indianapolis Colts
- Philadelphia Eagles beat Cincinnati Bengals
- Buffalo Bills beat Seattle Seahawks
- Washington Commanders beat Chicago Bears
- Denver Broncos beat Carolina Panthers
- Kansas City Chiefs beat Las Vegas Raiders
- San Francisco 49ers beat Dallas Cowboys
- Pittsburgh Steelers beat New York Giants
- Los Angeles Chargers beat New Orleans Saints
Wordle 1228 Hint
Hint: I want a girl who's fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack ... and who wears another term for today's Wordle above her short skirt.
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First Letter: T
Monday, October 28, 2024
How Enthusiastic Are People About Politics, Really?
I'm Considering An Auction or Dueling Fundraiser, But Want Opinions First
- Set up an auction -- whoever bids the most gets to tell me whether the mustache comes off, or whether I keep it for some minimum time post-auction (with exceptions for medical emergencies, i.e. facial surgery or whatever); or
- Just hold dueling fundraisers, with me doing the will of the team/side that donates the most (with the same exception for shaving it if medically required for some reason, even if the fundraising result is "keep it").
Travis Kelce: Broken Down, Distracted, or Under-Utilized?
Wordle 1227 Hint
Hint: If today's Wordle was a color, that color would be either "blue" or "off."
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First Letter: B
Sunday, October 27, 2024
Wordle 1226 Hint
Hint: If I'd been through the desert on a horse with no name, once we got to the beach I'd give it this name.
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New to Wordle? You can play it at the New York Times, and here are some thoughts on how I go about solving each day's puzzle.
First Letter: S
Saturday, October 26, 2024
Wordle 1225 Hint
Hint: Crying havoc is one thing; actually causing it is today's Wordle.
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New to Wordle? You can play it at the New York Times, and here are some thoughts on how I go about solving each day's puzzle.
First Letter: W