- Find lots and lots of kids.
- Force them to assemble in the same place for several hours every weekday, nine months out of every year.
- Forbid them, and most or all of the adults around them, to possess and carry the tools to defend their lives.
- Put "gun-free zone" signs all around the place so that the monsters know their prospective victims have been assembled and rendered defenseless for them.
- When your plan works out as it predictably will, rush out a statement blaming everyone but yourself for the consequences and demanding more of the same.
Friday, December 14, 2012
How to Attract Monsters
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