Thursday, May 08, 2008

Prologue: The LP National Convention is Decadent and Depraved

... or at least it will be. I'm going to Denver, folks.

St. Louis. Shit. I'm still only in St.Louis.

Every time I think I'm going to wake up back in the delegate business session. When I was home after my first convention, it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing ...

I hardly said a word to my wife until I said yes to managing her US Senate campaign. When I was here I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the smoke-filled rooms. I've been here for four years now. Waiting for a floor fight, getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room I get weaker. And every minute Wayne Allyn Root squats in his Las Vegas mansion he gets stronger. Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter.

Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a presidential campaign, and for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service.

In consequence whereof I have once again shaved my head. I may be a congressional candidate, but right now it's time to go to war. Hair grows back.

I wasn't planning to go, but at the last minute some people who really want me there managed to come up with the minimal amount of juice to make it happen. After talking with Tamara, I decided that I just couldn't miss this. If I go and my side loses, well, I go and my side loses ... but if I didn't go and my side lost, I'd spend the rest of my life wondering if I could have made a difference.

I'm going solo -- not enough money to make it into a family vacation -- and I'm traveling light. So light, in fact, that I need a ride. I can pony up an eminently reasonable amount for gas and such and I'm willing to accomodate your schedule [1]. If you're traveling from or through St. Louis for the convention and want to cut your gas costs, drop me a line at kubby dot communications at gmail dot com. I want to have the transportation details firmed up by the 15th if possible.

In Denver, I'll naturally be working for a couple of fine candidates for presidential nominations, LNC and such.

I'll also be serving as a delegate from Missouri, and as press from Third Party Watch (you'll probably see some liveblogging from me and the rest of the TPW crew).

In between all that, I hope to put in some time at the ISIL/Laissez Faire Books booth and the LP Radical Caucus booth.

And, of course, eating, drinking and making babies merry with old and new friends.

I also do weddings. No, really, I do. I'm an ordained minister (and a Litterarum Doctor -- I do linguistic appendectomies). If you're thinking about getting married and want to do it in Denver, let me know and I'll be happy to hitch you. My fee ranges from "here, have a mint julep" to "here, have a love offering." If I know in advance, I can order a nice marriage certificate, etc. to round out the ceremony (gummint licenses and such are on you, if you feel you need them).

Speaking of which, the rare bleg:

I've got the bare bones covered. I can make some driver very much less unhappy about gas expenses. I have crash space arranged. I have a few bucks for burgers. But I'm always happy to drink Maker's Mark instead of Kentucky Tavern, if you know what I mean. Throw me a few bucks and let me know how I can reciprocate. Rough sex? Give your regards to [insert name of prominent Libertarian here] in Denver? Try to get an answer to your question from the candidate who's been avoiding you? Publicly laud/link you for your generosity? I'm sure we can work something out.

The fat's in the fire, Bubba. Time to strap on the old athletic supporter and get in the game. See you there.


1. My preferred schedule is to leave late Wednesday (May 21st) or early Thursday (May 22nd), and to arrive back in St. Louis no later than late the following Tuesday (May 27th). I try to be a good travel partner. I smoke, but if you don't I won't do so in the car, and I'll try not to smell like smoke when I get in it. I won't load up on beans and garlicky food before we leave, and I'll try not to bitch too much about the long drive through Kansas. If necessary, I'll even listen to your Don Henley tape for several hours without complaint before asking if we can put in some Grateful Dead.

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