But I'm doing it anyway, for REASONS. Wouldn't be much of a politician if I didn't lie now and again, would I?
Some people announce their political candidacies with tweets, but I aspire to a higher standard of professionalism. I announced my candidacy for the Libertarian Party's 2020 vice-presidential nomination in a Facebook post that's too boring to even bother linking to.
So far the only campaign promise I have made is to demand a recount if nominated.
I have expressly REFUSED to promise not to use mescaline while on duty if nominated and elected.
My campaign platform is Guns and Dope Party Position Paper #23.
Guinness Book of World Records busk: So far as I know, I'm the first person to seek the vice-presidential nominations of three different political parties (exclusively, as opposed to fusion propositions) in three different election cycles.