Why I Advocated for NOT Buying a House in Alachua County

One of the houses we looked at -- the one I wanted to buy -- in Gilchrist County, had a very nice outdoor, above-ground, pool that the sellers said they'd be happy to include. I touted that feature, in addition to the big lot, outbuildings, RV hookup, huge covered deck, etc., but ultimately I agree to whatever Tamara picks, and she didn't pick that one.

Within minutes of the offer being accepted, my son said "we should get a pool." So I showed him the government requirements for Alachua County. Its own fence. Permanent electric installed by a licensed electrician. County permit. I suppose Gilchrist County might have those same requirements, but I doubt they're enforced. Heck, they might not even be enforced at the new house, seeing as it's located on a fucking cattle trail rather than a street and isn't terribly visible other than to one neighbor. But it's a lot more likely that ...

... a county that charges five times as much in property taxes as the counties around it will have the staff to drive around looking for, and citing, "code violations." They're certainly not using that money to, you know, maintain and improve the roads.

We'd like to buy a 20-foot, maybe even 40-foot, shipping container to use as storage and a mower/motorcycle garage. So while I was pricing that, I decided to see what the county says about it.

You're allowed one storage shed of up to 150 square feet. Anything beyond that, they want a permit, county permission for the exact siting, etc.

Again, it might not be enforced. I have a friend with a 40-foot container on his lot, in a far more visible and densely inhabited location, and I doubt he went and begged for permission to put it there. On the other hand, if I just do it, there might be a knock on the door and a demand that it be hauled away.

My main argument for a house in Gilchrist, Levy, or Putnam County was the tax rate. We'll basically be paying $300 or so per month in rent to the county's politicians, instead of $90 or so per month, above and beyond what we pay for supposed "ownership" of the house.

But it's not just the money, it's what the money gets used for: Sending, or constantly sending, as the Declaration of Independence puts it, "swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance."

The only real defense I'll have against that will be the "No Trespassing -- If You Can Read This, You're Within Range" sign at the end of the driveway.

Anyway, the escrow has been deposited and the required inspections are scheduled for Saturday. I've already started packing things that I can do without for the next month. If, for some reason, the deal falls through, I'll consider whether I can do without that stuff for longer or even forever, and start hauling the boxes to our storage unit or to Goodwill.