Search Engine Frustration

I've been trying out various versions of the following search on several engines:

automatically generate new forum topics from an RSS feed

The results (at least the first few pages of results) invariably go the other way (how to generate an RSS feed of forum topics).

I've also manually browsed quite a few Wordpress plug-ins from both ends (forum plug-ins and RSS handling plug-ins) and haven't found what I'm looking for.

Does anyone know of a pre-fab script or plug-in that works with this or that forum software to automatically generate new forum topics based on periodic checks of an RSS feed?

It sounds like a relatively simple problem to solve for someone who, you know, actually writes scripts and plug-ins. Cron job to check the feed every X minutes. New item? Create a forum topic with the item's title and a link to the item.

By "relatively simple," I mean beyond my capabilities without quite a bit of study. I have to re-"learn" PHP every time I want to do weird shit with a Wordpress theme. Any heavier lifting than that would be a major investment of time and skull sweat.