"And we promise not to come in your mouth"

Off the cuff on the State of the Union --

- Tried to watch live, but I just couldn't hang with it. I ended up letting the kids break over to Cartoon Network frequently, even though I couldn't really see much qualitative difference between "Ed, Edd and Eddie" and Bush's "chimpanzee impersonating Mussolini" routine.

- I didn't take control of the television back until the back-slapping aftermath, which was more enlightening than the speech itself anyway. Some woman -- it may have been Mary Matalin, but if so she's aged a lot and and not very well -- made the most horrible face right behind Bush's back. I think she was saying "And next, Bobo eat Romaaaaaaaaania." Probably the most sensible statement of evening.

- Condoleezza Rice signaled the firmness of her refusal to seek the presidency in 2008 by wearing something that looked like an Orange Julius uniform.

- Yeah, I admit it. I was watching the women. Who wouldn't? The men all looked like they had just finished their shifts at the used car lot and were headed out for beer at a strip club or something.

- So which is it, Mr. Bush? Is Social Security the "moral success" you called it, or the scam you described in detail?

- The national security portion of the speech could have been tighter. Like: "Yes, I know I've lost two wars already, but hey, third time's the charm, right?"

- For that matter, he could have kept the speech to ten seconds or so, and on point, by just modifying another one from another politician in similar circumstances: "I'm the president of Iraq and I'm willing to negotiate."

And on the Democratic response --

- Do something about that goddamn eyebrow, Governor Kaine.

- Summary: "There's a better way -- but first, let me tell you about the free set of steak knives ... and can we get that 1-800 number up on the screen?"

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