Sunday, October 03, 2004

Rant: Strange keyword tricks, part deux

OK, so ... after hours (well, maybe not hours, but you know what I mean) of reasearch on search engine optimization and keyword effectiveness, nothing. Not a single search engine hit on "naked news" or "newsletters journals ezines," which are supposed to have really high "Keyword Effectiveness Indexes."

As a matter of fact, every search engine hit on Knappster so far has come from my post of a newsclip concerning Hideto Tomabechi's Rockmelon ring tone, something that didn't even show up on the KEI reports I saw. Yeah, Knappster was on the first results page for people who searched on Hideto Tomabechi and his Rockmelon ring tone. Thank you, Hideto Tomabechi's Rockmelon ring tone.

Well, dammit ... what's the point of all this SEO, KEI and other acronymized stuff if it's really just the the luck 'o' the draw?

Why should I bother festooning my posts with iterations of words like freeones (which turns out to be a pornsite), freeone (which is probably a misspelling of the porn site, as it goes to a broken link for an alleged free broadband service), or any of the variants of cameltoe (camel toes, camel toe, cameltoes), a silly term for part of the female anatomy which I thought had disappeared in my own high school years (the word for it, not the part itself, thankfully), but which has also been reborn into the exciting world of Internet porn? It apparently won't help ... so I guess I won't mention them.

I will, however, mention Votergasm. This one was a top search term twice, both as Votergasm proper and as Votergasm.Org, and it's an actual political site, albeit a strange one -- a quixotic attempt to mix politics and orgies, or at least politics and getting laid (as opposed to getting screwed, which occurs on a regular basis in the normal course of politics).

Yeah, that's it. I'll just keep mum about cameltoes, camel toes, cameltoe and camel toe, as well as freeones and freeone. They aren't relevant. I'll stick instead with Votergasm, Votergasm.Org and the proven standby, the Hideto Tomabechi Rockmelon ring tone.

I am, after all, a professional.

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